CRAP for Naruto characters!
by Piffy
Summary: a little poem or two for naruto characters. i shall warn you that my poems make no sense at all, the are full of crack and that there is swearing involved.
1. The Untribute to Sakura

welcome to C.R.A.P. for naruto characters! (crazy, retarded, amusing poems for naruto characters!) LoL

First up is SAKURA!

naruto doesn't belong to me. :(

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Untribute to Sakura Haruno

Ok, here is the deal,

I'm gonna tell you a little folklore (more like a poem)

about Sakura Haruno the whore.

She actually likes the fangirl's favourite emo (Sasuke)

than love the main bishie hero!

Sakura left Hinata all alone to crush on Naruto,

and left for Sasuke.

She actually hates Naruto

and says Sasuke is not gay. (for Naruto)

Fangirls hate her,

Sasuke hates her,

I hate her,

Why don't you hate her?

Fine, I'll give you 3 reasons

and tell you why, Sakura is a whore!

Well, us fangirls saw the hot emo first,

so we get first dibs!

Secondly, Sakura stalks

Sasuke everywhere he goes.

Who would want a stalker

stalking them wherever they go?

Sakura is very desperate for Sasuke,

which means that...uh..I can't think

of anything that rhymes with

desperate so..I'll end it here.

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so that's my awesome kickass poem and remember

to R&R and do what you normally do. (steal ur younger siblings lunch money, eat tacos, and etc.)


	2. An Eight line poem for Kakashi

heeheehee

hohoho

hahaha :D

i feel high! Ok Next up is KAKASHI!

the poem is supposed to be like 7 words in 7 lines or somthin liek dat but i'll make it 8 lines.

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A poem for Kakashi

Once upon a time Kakashi went shopping

He had found a retarded looking shirt.

Kakashi brought the shirt for about 4.90$

And he went home and wore it instantly

Kakashi walked in that shirt, people laughed.

Amused with the laughing, he bought another

Shirts like his sold for pennies, but

He got ripped off and paid 5.00$

Instantly, he wore it, and people laughed.

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LoL the first letters of each lines spell Oh Kakashi! lol.

remember to read and review!

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A haiku for me!

Getting high and gay,

I run outside full of joy.

I got hit by cars

THE END!


	3. A life story for Sasuke

omg HIYA PPLS! for i feel high and full of crack!

next up is sasuke! (WARNING: the following contains cursng so you little kiddies should like read some other fanfic.)

hmm this isn't poetry but who the hell cares?

naruto doesn't belong to me. neither is neji. nor kakashi.

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A life story for Sasuke

Once upon a time, Mr. Uchiha met a pretty woman named Ms. Sasuke's mom. They loved each other very much and after a kajillion dates and months, they decided to get married. During their honeymoon..well...that a lemon story I'll never do. shudders Anyway, they did it and had a boy. His name was Itachi, whom they named after a fucking weasel stole their garbage. After about three years, they had another baby and named him Sasuke, cause he was feminine in his own way. After about several long, yet banal years, Sasuke's smexy brother turned thirteen and became chuunin. Sasuke however, just became an academy student. One day Itachi got pissed because he was acused of kill his bestest friend ever. So, he beat the crap out of them and chilled. Then another day Sasuke came home and found his parents dead. "OMFG NOO!! Who's the fucking asshole that did this to you?!", Sauske cried and he yell and screamed like he could. Just then, a reply came. "Dammint some people are trying to sleep here kid!", some old guy yelled from afar. "AHHHH WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE BEEP UP YOU MOTHERBEEPER???!?? Can't you see I'm trying to be emo??!", Sasuke replied. Just then, ANOTHER reply came. "I killed them..", stated a tall and shadowy figure. The figure stepped out and Sasuke gasped. It was Itachi who killed his parents.

"Why Nii-san why?!", Sasuke yelped. "Simply because..I was damn bored", Itachi stated and with that, he aimed a kunai for Sasuke's shoulder and cut him. After that, Itachi dissapeared into the sun, where he melted like the witch in the Wizard of Oz. Sasuke fainted and woke up in a hospital. "Hey kid, are you all right?", some random nurse asked. "Yes", Sasuke trembled. He got out of bed and started home. When he got there, the whole place looked abandoned like as if a giant jelly monster swallowed them whole. "Damn you jelly monster...", Sasuke cursed under his breath.

A couple of years later...(to the part where team 7 introduces them to Kakashi)

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I have ADD so...GIMME CANDY!", Naruto proclaimed. Kakashi stared at Naruto for a second, "Hey Naruto.." "HM???!!" "Are you on crack or what?" "I take medicinal marijuana!" Sakura/Sasuke/Kakashi: OMG WTF? "Sheesh, I'm kidding!", Naruto chuckled. "Okay, now it's your turn, emo-looking boy", Kakashi pointed to Sasuke. "OK, My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like to cut my wrists and attempt suicide so I can see my dead parents in Hell", Sasuke said. "So damn hot...", Sakura thought. "Wow, he like, really needs prozac or something", Naruto said staring at Sasuke. "okkk, either you're a poser or an emo. which ever one it is I wouldn't want to know", Kakashi said, "We'll skip the pink-haired one so we can move on". "HEY! I'm Haruno Sakura and just to mention I'm not useless!!", Sakura proclaimed and got dagged off by a hungry hippo.

A couple of episodes later...(to the part of the chuunin exam)

"Wtf? A snake dude just bit me...", Sasuke drowsily said and slept with a thud. Sakura just squealed "YESS!! I'm now alone with an emo sleeping. Who knows what I'll do now!".

(Another couple of episodes later...) "MWUAUAHAH!! PH33R MEH AND MY STRIPES!", he laughed like a madman. So Sasuke totally owned Zaku and his friends.

A few seasons later...(to the part where Naruto and Sasuke battle each other)

"I will tell you my life story." "Once upon a time...", started Sasuke...

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Okkkk...someone is taking an overdose of prozac points to me WHYYYYY ME!?!?!?!?!

m'kay watever now read and rate!

next up: NARUTO!


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